15 August 2012

Pancreas Job Interview

This post is my August entry in the DSMA Blog Carnival. If you’d like to participate too, you can get all of the information at http://diabetessocmed.com/2012/august-dsma-blog-carnival-2/

So, here's the situation. There's this dream job, filled with unicorns and cupcakes and glitter-perfect for any member of the DOC.

You sit down for the interview, and it's totally going awesome. You're witty and charming, and you pretty much have this job in the bag. Until...

That's right. They ask you a question that would make a unicorn poop rotten cupcakes.

"So, how are those beta cells? Are they good workers?"*

Noooooo!!! Pancreas! Don't answer! Let the brain answer! It'll pull this off! It can do it!

Truth be told, my pancreas is a delinquent, and it's taking all my other organs with it (or at least it's trying). It hasn't shown up for "real work" in 10 years. I think it's gone on vacation to Hawaii or the Bahamas. It could have at least called, maybe sent a postcard or a few trinkets.

The beta cells died in what I hope was a glorious battle. I hope there was an epic death scene ("Don't die on me Johnson! Don't you dare!"), a glorious romance ("Roger, my love!"), and some wicked weapons. I mean, that's half the awesome of any battle movie, right? "Oh! Look at that gun!" "Oh! That cannon is so awesome!"

But in the end, the immune system massacred those poor beta cells. That ruthless immune system brought the firepower equivalent of a nuke to a sad little group of cells that had the equivalent of a pitch fork.

Well, I hope the immune system is happy. I mean...wait...

What was the question?

Aw, crap.

*I know this question could never be asked in a real job interview, and I'm not entirely sure how anyone would ask without sounding like the most awkward person in the world, minus your doctor.


  1. Remind me to ask you if your beta cells are good workers if I ever see you again.

    1. My husband and I are planning on coming to the Christmas show. Maybe we will see some friendly faces. :-)